A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows open. Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in this environment. Keep your doors and windows open. If this person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world won’t make them leave.
The way we learn
I’ve learned to pick myself up. I learned to never let someone have the ability to underrate my heart of gold , which took me so much time to solidify. That if someone truly cares they won’t make you feel like you should change your way of being, so you can be right for them but instead value that person that you have become and value the process that you went through to get there. One must understand that not everyone is meant for one another, that it’s all a process we have no control of. We shouldn’t be sad instead thankful for the opportunity we received to have met them and because they were a test and at the end we all fail or pass and regardless of the outcome we learn something from it. - s.d
decenter men from your existence
(repeat it as many times as you need to, put it into practice). this should be the mantra of women everywhere. i was thinking about the men i allow into my life (we have so little room to make choices, but be firm in your decisions. change your mind as often as you need to), and i was feeling a little sad because one of my good friends is in a relationship and has been neglecting our friendship for a while now. but i can’t fault her. we live in a society that glamorizes love, strips it of labor and depth and substance, and makes it look easy. we’re taught to spend our entire lives looking for love, waiting for love. we’re taught since early childhood that someday your prince will come. and when we find romantic love (or what we think is romantic love) we place it above all the other loves in our lives. we aren’t taught to value the other plentiful sources of love in the same way we are taught to value “romantic love.” we are since girlhood waiting our entire lives to be consumed by love. we want to be destroyed by it, we want to d r o w n in it. we let men into the center of our lives, we let men become the center of our lives.
i have loved and will continue to love deeply, but never desperately. i am the center of my life. i will never forget that the sources of love are plentiful, that there is kinlove and womanlove and friendlove and sisterlove, that these loves are a source of sustenance. may we keep our centers to ourselves, hold our own hearts in our hands, cultivate and appreciate love in all of its glorious manifestations.
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One day, you’ll look into her brown eyes and you’ll think of me. You think of how my eyes wrinkle when I smile or how it loses focus when I’m thinking. You’ll remember the intensity of my stare and the passion that fills it. You will yearn for those two eyes that knew you too well but not even once judged you.
One day, you’ll touch her hair but you’ll miss the way my hair filled the gaps of your fingers. You will think of how you loved to play with tendrils curling on your palms. You’ll remember the face you tried to see whenever you tuck the hair with the back of your palm.
One day, you’ll walk with her hand in hand on a lazy day. You thought that day was going so well, so perfect until you see pieces of me everywhere you go. Pangs of regret hit you because you realized how good you had it until you messed it up.
One day, you’ll walk by and see me. You’d see how I smile at someone and it hits you how that smile used to be for you, and you alone. One day you’ll realize that you’ve traded a rose for a daisy.
"but by then, you’d learn i’ve moved on, Kim M. (via wordsbykim)
